i know that i just had a baby 2 months ago "it took 9 months to put the weight on blah blah blah" and i realize that i never got back in shape before the last pregnancy, or the one before that. i also realize that i use the phrase "back in shape" like i had this killer body before i made the ultimate sacrifice and had children when in actuality i've never been anywhere close to happy with my body. none the less i would like to live in a fantasy world where all of the baby weight comes off with nursing and i magically have all of the energy in the world. i would become addicted to exercise and start training for a triathylon.
last week i had a double dose of reality. first my 6 week check up after the c-section. i had all three kids with me which i could tell really excited everyone else in the waiting room. it was funny because you could visibly tell which ones were pregnant for the first time by the looks of fear/disdain on their faces when my 2 and 3 year old got into a booger war.( not sure on the spelling of booger). also the obvious discomfort when i had to nurse my infant under a blanket right there in front of them. i fealt like yelling at this one lady that was giving me dirty looks- " you're right, i should probably let him starve rather than make you uncomfortable." but i refrained. finally after and hour and a half in the waiting room when were taken back to a room. the dr. came in and was pleasant but after he inspected my incision he looked at me and with a straight face said " looks great melissa, and it's nice and low and you're cleared to start working out so you'll be back in that bikini in no time." i'm thinking, "was that a joke" but i just smiled and said "yeah". i drug the kids out to the car fighting back the tears.
the next day i was reading with micahlyn while the boys were taking naps, "Dora has 5 mangos in her basket, can you count the mangos?" she cuts me off and says "mom you chunky". "what?!?" " you plumpin" "what?!?" " i mean, you huge girl, motomoto" it was the motomoto that tipped me off. she tilted her head when she said it, plus she doesn't usually call me girl. i again fought back the tears while asking her what movie it was from. i had to see it. it's from madagascar 2, there is a scene where these 2 hippos are dancing and the guy tells the girl all this stuff. should this make me feel better? yes it's from a movie but why does my daughter relate the hippo to me? i decided to laugh at it. although i did tell her to never ever repeat those lines again.
12 comments:
Melissa, a few months ago I had our nephew Thomas in the tub. I came into the bathroom in my pyjamas, and I am greeted with this: "I hear you and I see you. And I see those LUMPS and BUMPS under your PYJAMAS!" I was a little upset because I too have some weight I need to lose-- and I was thinking, how bad is it that my three year old nephew is commenting on my weight gain and how unattractive it is? Three year olds aren't supposed to notice anything. But I found out later it was a line from "Max and Ruby's Midas", one of his favorite books and he said it to everyone. But I'm still a little freaked out that he chose to say it to me when I was actually in my pyjamas.
haha what does that mean about the ADULT who asked me when i was having my baby? not pregnant.
kids are better...they just repeat everything they hear whether it's relevant to the situation or not. you just "lucked out" this time!
i love your description of the waiting room, the booger war and the nursing. ahhh - motherhood. it's still weird for me to think of you as a mom - let alone a mom of THREE kids! Just cause I've never even seen you since you had kids - which is lame and we need to remedy that. Ok, and don't even tell me you are offended by what your daughter said. If we can endure the comments of the Japanese (bless their hearts) we can endure kids quoting a movie. But what do I know... "you don't know the FIRST THING about fat people!" oh, those days.
I definitely feel your pain. I feel the same way.
Hilarious, as usual Melissa. You kill me! I really cannot believe you are brave enough to take three kids to a waiting room. I mean, I'm guessing you had no choice, but I am so petrified of the public that I would probably just miss my appointment. For Oliver's first appointment, I had to have my mom watch Henry and Mike come with me.
Nice comments from Micahlyn! Aha! I definitely would have sprung a tear and then put Henry on timeout. Kids.
my daughter called me, "Becky with the Bionical Butt"
it wasn't a line from any movie. she's ten and made it up herself.
*serious part now*
I too have pounds to lose and bikini weather is coming up. The part that makes me sad is when I was young and thin, I couldn't possibly put on a bathing suit for fear someone looked better. I hate this about our culture. SO! I bought a bathing suit! I weigh 195 pounds and I'm still gonna weigh that much in or out of a pool. The only difference is if I'm a sweaty 195 lbs creature or a cooled off one!!!
and, of course, I will join a gym and try to be healthy. NOT perfect.
Sorry - but I had to laugh at the motomoto part. It's a funny line in the movie at our house. Anyways - I know the feeling. Except my kids asked me a whole year after Cade was born when the new baby was coming. Yah...that felt good.
Your doctor really said that? Wow--
9 months up, 9 months down (they say). Here's my thing: as long as I'm doing this, I'm just going to keep doing it. After you eighth child (you're having 8 right?) you can get your bikini bod...
I wish you would have said that to the staring bisnitch.
I am pretty sure she is just trying to be like her Uncle Brian and Mike by repeating every movie line. Most of what Braxton says in a day is from some sort of movie.
First of all, the doctor is a nightmare. I went yesterday and I need to just sit home today to recuperate. Second of all, kids are hilarious. Yesterday, I got all dressed up (aka put on jeans to take the kids to the doctor) and Cyra looks at me straight in the face and says: you are not pretty, mommy. Whatever. Talk to the hand, Cyra and Micahlyn. Guess what girls, you are going to look just like your not pretty mommies!
I'm sorry you're not feeling like a supermodel these days. I can commiserate with you there. And I'm sorry to laugh at your pain, but this whole post was so hilarious. Thanks Melissa!
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